I never realized how difficult blogging would be. My hat goes off to bloggers everywhere. I feel so naked blogging. I never realized how many things happen in my life around my chronic illness and pain that I'm afraid to share. I'm afraid I will be judged, that people will find out I really am just lazy and not living up to my potential and to be quite honest being totally open about how shitty I feel and the pain I'm in makes it all the more real.
I don't know how these bloggers share the intimate details of their personal life, it makes me want to run and hide!
But, I didn't start this blog to hide. I came home from a training in Michigan May 22nd sicker than a dog. It started out with a fever of 102 and sore throat. I was feeling better the Friday we drove to Michigan - but started to loose my voice on the drive up. Saturday Basic 1 training was a blast - but 1/2 way through the day my voice left and I was exhausted. By that night I could barely hold my self upright and was dreading the next day. I've taught some trainings sick before - but ...kill me now... Sunday May 22nd was unbelievably painful. Thank God for my assistant Cristina, because I could never have driven myself home. She drove me the WHOLE way and I made it to my bed. That was the end of it. I was so sick I couldn't shower, wash my face, brush my teeth, or even drive myself to the doctor for several days. The throat infection moved to my sinuses and when it finally invaded my eyes at the end of the week, I dragged myself to the local ER (my doctor quit taking my insurance - lovely - and am searching for a new medical genius).
Antibiotics later and miracle I started to improve. But was shocked at how long it took to get my energy back, even though I was able to start talking and stopped blowing green chunks out of my nose.
Well, I'm about 98% and even though I still tire out easily, I'm ready for action.
So here I am back to the blogging and committing to you to be naked and honest and hopefully give you all something that is both entertaining and inspiring, if a bit mundane.
Off to bed - I have a Zumba Toning training in the morning. I get to sleep in my own bed tonight - will wonders never cease? The training is only 20 min. from my house - hallelujah!
And I'm actually excited and ready to kick some Zumba @$$! For a while I was dealing with a bit of burn out, and though I never wanted to quit - I did loose some of the pre training excitement for a while. But just as being sick is a great reminder of how wonderful it feels to be "healthy" (we'll use that term loosely), being unable to perform is a great reminder of the gift it is to do a job that I love and that changed lives not only of the poeple I touch, but of the lives they touch as well.
Ready to bask in the glory of sleep and grow sleep crusties in the corners of my eyes. 'Till tomorrow!
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